"Breathe in the Sun" 44" x 65" Acrylic on Paper
Why do artists paint what they paint? In this blog series for 2019 I will be telling the story behind my paintings; why I do what I do. I'll be revealing my artwork through the story of my life. I just finished a giant acrylic painting entitled "Breathe in the Sun." One of my last artworks of 2018. The story of this painting begins with a revelation about myself that many people are surprised to hear. For the last couple of years (and throughout my life) I have dealt with anxiety and panic attacks. For those who are dealing with any mental illness you know that is not easily overcome. It is a disease and it is okay to talk about. A couple of months ago I was frustrated, anxious and really tired of all that was happening. I got out a huge roll of printmaking paper that I have had since College, taped it to my studio wall and went to work. I painted with anxiousness, anger, and a lot of passion. To be honest I made a huge mess of my new studio. I had an image of the sunset over the water, but I didn't want to paint it in the normal way. I needed the sun to be energy. The energy and heat of the earth, and the freedom from my thoughts. After my first layer was finished I realized that I had completely let go of any notion of painting and was focused on pure creation. For the next two months I continued to put layers of paint on this paper (maybe 3-5 total layers). Each paint layer was scraped, dripped, and painted over. Areas were destroyed, making way for more beauty and ugliness. Some people will look at this painting and see a mess. For me I look at this painting and see Freedom!. Freedom from worry, anxiety, mistakes, and the stress of everyday life. What does this painting say to you? I would love to know your thoughts and I hope you enjoy the story behind the creation of this painting.